Writing
On Substack, I write about following joy, discovering that we all belong, my fierce optimism about the future, and imagining what we might create next.
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I’ve been thinking about belonging lately. A lot actually. It’s something I’ve craved my whole life, likely because I grew up not feeling like I belonged, anywhere, even in my own birth family.
Then when I was four years old my best friend, my protector, my playmate, my constant presence – my older brother – died...…
So I did something kind of scary, kind of cool. I put my art up on my website.
I have had a lifelong obsession with LIFE magazines. As a teenager, I would find the old magazines, cut them up and create collages.
The old me — the me from 5 years ago (let’s be honest, the me from yesterday) —NEVER would have shared these collages with the public.
But that doesn’t feel true for me anymore..…
A few months ago a clarity hit me hard. I realized that a relationship I had been in my entire life kept me from fully being myself.
Whenever I was with this person, I would second guess what I wanted to say, feel self criticism soar, limit how much I shared about myself, try to keep from “being too much”.
But a few months ago I realized I couldn’t do it anymore…
For the vast majority of my life I operated at the will of my brain — scanning the environment, analyzing what to do next, following an endless list of “shoulds” and “have-tos”.
But I realized recently that in following my intuition for the past several years, I have shifted to a whole new way of being in the world…
The last couple of weeks have offered a big shift for me.
After three years without a job – just spending my days following my own joy – I suddenly realized I want to be working with people again.
But in a completely new way…
I decided over a year ago that instead of pushing, punishing, or forcing my body, I would simply listen to it.
Some days my body just wants a short walk around the neighborhood, some days it craves light stretching on the floor of my office, other days it desires to lie on the couch with a book…
Recently, I was inspired to re-read my journals from the past 9 years.
And in the Universe’s infinite wisdom, it turned out to be an incredible gift.
It was the gift of witnessing my own becoming…
When I closed my business at the end of 2022 I embarked on a journey of letting go.
Letting go of most of the identities I had picked up along the (almost) five decades of my life.
The first to go, obviously, was Business Owner. But along with that title went others that were directly related …
Whenever I meet someone new, and they find out I am currently not working, their first question is always:
“What do you do with yourself all day?”
And the second question is:
“How do you afford not to work?”
Here are my answers...
I sort of checked out of the world for the past two years.
For 14 years, from 2008-2022, I ran my own management consulting firm. I was constantly telling people (my clients, my online and book audiences) how to run their lives so they could succeed.
But in October of 2022 I realized I couldn’t do it anymore…